Ben, as you already know, can be one of the most exciting--if not the most exciting--loves of your young life. However, with Ben, it's a long way from your first meeting (when you fall absolutely head-over-heels in love with him) to true, mutual love. You see, little Ben-luvver, it's because that's exactly the way Ben wants it to be. Your courtship with Ben is going to be like a mad roller-coaster ride!
After your first date with this beautiful man, it's for sure that you'll be completely captured by his charm, grace, wit and warmth--to say nothing of his looks! Then what happens, mini-Ben-baby--what then? You've thanked him for your super date; you've desperately wanted to ask him when you'd see him again--but held back; and you've held your breath every time the phone rang for three whole days.
And nothing happens. The phone rings, but it isn't Ben. It's your girl friend, asking you about the beach party on Saturday. You can hardly find the words to answer her, cos you're so disappointed that it isn't Ben. You go to greeting card stores, searching for the perfect card that would say it all to Ben--but the right card hasn't been made yet.
And you wait. The minutes turn into hours; the hours stretch into days, and it seems like you can't live another minute unless you hear from Ben. You review your date with Ben in your mind a hundred times: What did I do wrong? Maybe if I hadn't said that quite so bluntly... Maybe I should have been more/less aggressive... Why doesn't he call? Maybe he's been hurt--maybe he's too busy ... Why doesn't he like me the way I like him? Over and over again, you ask yourself, What did I do wrong?
The answer is very simple. Nothing. That's right--you did absolutely nothing wrong. You didn't say anything Ben could find fault with. You looked adorable and Ben had a marvelous time with you. But Ben doesn't rush into things, and even though he said, "Talk to you soon--thanks for the great evening" when he left--he doesn't call or come by for quite some time cos that's his nature. He knows who you are; he had a good time; he thinks about you almost as often as you think about him; but he's not about to sweep you off your feet in a flurry of phone calls, flowers, love notes and dates.
Sorry, little Ben-luvver, but Ben's not that type. What Ben will do is keep you waiting until you don't think you can live another minute without hearing from him--and that's exactly when he'll call!
Ben calls you--as if you haven't been waiting for over three full weeks now--and casually says, "Hi, how've you been? Want to go to a movie tonight?" You want to scream and cry, but you're so relieved and happy to hear from him that all you can do is whisper-sigh, "Yes, I'd love to."
Your second date with Ben is even more exciting and perfect than the first. And you dread the end of it, cos you know that you don't want to go through another "silence" like you did before but you feel helpless to stop it.
Once again Ben says, "Good night"--and the weeks crawl by until Ben calls you again. You've sworn that you'd never even speak to him if he calls after keeping you dangling for so long! But when that phone rings and it's Ben you say Yes each and every time he asks you out.
Before long, when you and Ben are dating regularly, one night Ben says to you, "You know what I liked best about you right from the start?" You shake your head uh-uh. "The fact that you never pushed me," Ben continues. "You never demanded to know where I was or why I didn't call. You seemed to understand that I run hot and cold in the beginning--and you were able to accept it."
You are too startled to really answer Ben, but right then and there you thank your lucky stars that you never picked up the phone and called him all the times you wanted to; you silently thank the man who never designed the "perfect" card to send Ben; and you wish that you could share the secret of your success with every girl who's ever had a "slam-bang" lover.
But best of all, you know that your
slam-bang lover Ben is the best--he's worth every minute you've
had to wait for him!
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